Chapter 13. Killer
Bella hears that the werewolves have killed a tourist and she immediately frets that Jacob has become a killer. She goes to confront him about this, and since you’ve probably already figured this out, no, the werewolves didn’t do it. They do mention that they took out Laurent, since werewolves and vampires are like pirates and ninjas. No idea why Bella didn’t immediately blame the rogue vampire coffin for the nearby murders, but hey, it’s not like Bella has ever thought clearly about vampires. Once this is all sorted out, Bella explains to Jacob all the stuff the reader already knows. This is getting tiresome; why can’t this be summarized? Had she said, “I quickly explained to him why Victoria wanted me dead,” the chapter would have been about five pages shorter and much better written.
Chapter 14. Family
Jacob takes Bella to meet the pack, and one of the members transforms on the spot when he realizes she’s the one who dated a vampire. Jacob transforms to fight him off, and the novels description of the change is actually pretty well done. This series has faltered when describing action scenes, and this stands out as the best one so far. Bella is worried to the point of nausea, but the other pack members assure her this is no big deal. Two of them, Embry and Jared, lead Bella away. As they leave, they place bets on whether Bella will throw up, a moment I found amusing. Nice to see a bit of humor to balance out the melodrama.
They arrive at Sam Uley’s house. He’s the leader of the pack, and not in a Shangri-Las kind of way. They meet Emily, Sam’s fiancee, and we see that she has bears quite a few scars. It’s implied that werewolves are responsible, which suggests either that there are pack rivalries, or, more uncomfortably, that someone within the tribe likes to keep his pimp paw strong. Sam arrives and the pack begins to plan what to do about Victoria. One of them sensibly realizes that Bella would make great bait, and I have to say that sounds like a great plan.
Chapter 15. Soul-Crushing Stupidity Pressure
The chapter begins with describing the experience of becoming a werewolf to Bella. They leave for a bit, and Bella decides she wants to hear Edward’s voice, so she jumps off a cliff into the ocean.
Yeah.
We get another cringe-inducing line:
He was angry now, and the anger was so lovely.
Bella survives the fall, but then she realizes that she has to deal with the water currents. Nice. Even for Bella this is pretty stupid; what next, Russian roulette? (“As I spun the chamber, I heard his beautiful, liquid voice ordering me not to pull the trigger.”) Really, I’m starting to wonder why Edward doesn’t just give up on her. Sorry, Edward, but I’m pretty sure no amount of vampire love is going to cure her of being a ninny.
Anyway, Bella struggles to stay above water, and Edward orders her to keep swimming in what has to be the best unintentional Finding Nemo reference I’ve heard in a while. Bella finds this pretty hard, so she decides to run with the whole dying thing.
Yeah.
Bella tells voice-in-her-head Edward goodbye and gives up. The chapter ends. I’m going to go make myself some cocoa before I read about Bella’s inevitable rescue by Jacob.
Chapter 16. Paris
Oh look, Jacob rescues Bella. How surprising. He pulls her out of the water and informs her that one of the tribe’s members has just had a heart attack, and Bella at least has the decency to realize that her manufactured crisis kept them away from the real crisis.
As she dries out, we’re subjected to one of the most painful sequences of literature I’ve ever read: Bella using Romeo and Juliet as an extended metaphor for her out situation. There are no words for how terrible this scene is and it goes on too long for me to quote, so I’ll just move along. You’re welcome.
Jacob takes her home, but they spot Carlisle’s car at Bella’s house. For vampire/werewolfe political reasons Jacob can’t accompany her, but Bella insists on going in anyway. Jacob gives us one of the funnier lines of the book as he leaves:
"Bye, Bella," he called back over his shoulder. "I really hope you don't die."
